


And So The Wheel Turns

by cleo4u2



Series: Ages Come and Pass [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 70 years later they figure shit out, Angst, Avengers - Freeform, Bucky doesn't die, Bucky/Steve - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, Stucky - Freeform, bucky never stops loving steve, bucky's a boss, he's called the winter soldier, of course bucky still has the arm, steve does, steve likes the arm, uncle Bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 01:53:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7782292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cleo4u2/pseuds/cleo4u2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky doesn't fall off the train. Steve still goes into the ice. Time passes and they're reunited, but happy endings are never so easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's Steve's Choice

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [歲月荏苒](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7951423) by [abbabccd05](https://archiveofourown.org/users/abbabccd05/pseuds/abbabccd05)



> [NurseDarry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NurseDarry/profile) is our wonderful amazing beta who puts up with me posting things before giving them to her and then yells at me and fixes all my mistakes. All chapters beta'd

“Come in, this is Captain Rogers. Do you read me?”

The radio crackles to life, the voice they’ve all been anxiously waiting for finally coming over the radio. Colonel Phillips and Agent Carter turn immediately to it and Jim Morita, who is sitting at the console. Jim begins to answer, but Peggy quickly pushes him out of the way.

“Steve, is that you; are you alright?”

“Peggy?” Steve questions. 

Bucky hesitates, comes to hover by Peggy’s shoulder. They’re all anxious for word, but she’s the one who people expect to care the most. The one with the picture in Steve’s compass for the newsreels so no one even thinks to ask about how Steve and Bucky are never apart, too close, more than friends.

“Schmit’s dead,” Steve’s voice reports.

“What about the plane?” Peggy asks.

“That’s a little harder to explain.”

Steve’s stalling. Bucky doesn’t know why and can’t ask, not with the Colonel behind him. Peggy, as smart as she is, doesn’t seem to notice. Maybe she doesn’t want to.

“Just give me your coordinates and I’ll find you a safe place to land.”

There’s a long silence before Steve says what he’s avoiding, and Bucky’s world collapses around his ears.

“There’s not gonna be a safe landing, but I can try and force it down.”

Clutching the back of Peggy’s chair, Bucky doesn’t even notice the Colonel signal for Jim to leave. Doesn’t notice how he doesn’t do the same to Bucky, or that he leaves himself.

“I’ll- I’ll get Howard on the line,” Peggy is trying for anything now to save Steve while all Bucky can do is try to hold himself together.

“There’s not enough time. This thing’s moving too fast and it’s heading for New York.”

Bucky closes his eyes, sees his father and his sister, the guys at the dock. Mrs. DeLancy across the hall with her cats, and Mr. Green down at the grocer who always gave him a little bit of fruit to give to Steve, no charge.

“I gotta put her in the water.”

“Please, don’t do this,” Peggy pleads.

“Steve, no,” Bucky begs, unable to stop himself. “We can figure this out.”

“Right now, I’m in the middle of nowhere,” Steve says. “If I wait any longer, a lot of people are gonna die. Buck… This is my choice.”

Peggy’s hand grips Bucky’s arm, her long fingernails digging in through his jacket. The pain is welcome as is she in this moment. In another life, Steve would have been hers. She knows it, he knows it. Steve is the only one who doesn’t. That’s why he doesn’t ask her to leave, presses his hand over hers and holds as tight as she does to him.

“Bucky…”

“I’m here,” he manages to croak.

“Think we’re going to have to postpone the wedding.”

It’s the stupidest thing Steve’s ever said, and there’s a lot to choose from, but Bucky still barks out a laugh. They had jokingly promised to get married one night, in the middle of nowhere, and had used that impossible fantasy to bolster each other’s spirits as the war went on. Of course, they couldn’t get married. What they did, what they _were_ , was illegal. It hadn’t mattered; it was their way of saying they were in it together, thick or thin, for the long haul.

“All right.” Bucky has to swallow down the lump in his throat, knows Steve needs this no matter how hard it is, “but I’m not giving you more than a week this time.”

“You got it.”

“Saturday, week from next, at that little church we found in Prague.”

“You know, I still haven’t got you a ring.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Bucky’s voice cracks, “Just be there.”

“Think I finally figured out my vows.”

Bucky closes his eyes tightly, tears slipping down his cheek, but he holds back the sobs.

When he has control, he says fiercely, “I love you.” It doesn’t matter who hears, if he’s arrested, or court martialed. Steve is- He’s going to- _No, God, no_.

“I love-”

There’s nothing but static. 

“Steve?” Bucky asks, then begs, “ _Steve?_ ”

There’s nothing. Bucky clenches his jaw, ducking his head as tears blur his vision. 

“Steve?” Peggy asks, so quiet, begging as much as Bucky to hear his voice again. 

There’s never a response, nothing but static. He hears her sob and pulls her into his arms, holding her close, head tucked beneath his chin. Bucky hasn’t cried since the night he got his draft letter that took him from Steve, but he cries now. It feels like he’ll never stop.

\-----

They win the war, thanks to Steve. Bucky doesn’t take part in the celebrations, he’d left the Army by then, taking the honorable discharge Philips offers. The tapes of that night disappear, no one knows the secret Steve took to his grave. Peggy keeps up the story, the one she invented so no one asks any questions, that she’s Steve’s girl. They owe her, owe her everything, but Bucky just _can’t_ any more. He only fought at all for Steve and now…

Now Steve’s gone.

\----

Bucky goes home to Brooklyn. He leaves again before nightfall when his father calls Steve “Bucky’s whore,” and gets knocked out for his trouble. It’s the last time he sees his father or his sister.

\----

For the next couple years, Bucky works any job that needs some muscle and pays something. He lives in run-down apartments, shitty places that are barely good enough to say he has a roof over his head. The only people he sees are Peggy and the Commandos, and then only sparingly so he doesn’t have to see the pity in their eyes. Doesn’t have to be reminded he’s only half a person now.

Then he becomes Uncle Bucky and everything changes. 

Not thanks to Becca, though she has a little boy by this time. She sided with his father after their last “conversation”, but he’s too numb for that to hurt any more. It’s thanks to Jim Morita, who settles down first with his wife in Fresno. They have a beautiful baby girl that is simply far too pure and innocent for this world, and invite Bucky to the christening. They invite all the Howlies, but Bucky doesn’t think he deserves it, so it feels special.

For the first time since Steve died, Bucky makes an effort with his appearance. He gets a haircut, shaves, saves up a few dimes for a new suit. When the Howlies see him, there’s whoops and cat calls and he feels a little bit like a person again. It’s nice, but he doesn’t think it will last until Jim throws a curveball his way.

“Sarge, can I talk to you a minute?” Jim asks, motioning to an alcove and walking that way. 

Bucky’s surprised, but of course he follows. What he doesn’t expect is Jim’s wife, Kara, following with little Jeanette in her arms. The woman is five foot nothing, but she’s the one who looks up at him when Jim can’t seem to get the words out.

“We would like you to be godfather.”

“What?” Bucky blurts. “Whoa, now. No one here thinks I’d be good at that. No offense, but have you two lost it? I barely hold it together most days; everyone knows that.”

Kara puffs up and it’s more than a little intimidating. Thankfully, it’s Jim that speaks up this time.

“No offense to _you_ , Sarge, but that’s bullshit. I know you, know what you’d do for her, for me, or any of the other guys. There is no one I’d rather have looking out for my daughter.”

“Seriously,” Bucky protests, feeling panicked. “This is more Steve’s department than mine and he’s-”

Bucky stops talking as much because he still can’t say aloud that Steve is dead as because Kara pushes Jeanette into his arms. All other thoughts vanish as his only priority is to make sure he doesn’t drop her, or hurt her, and her head’s supported the way his mom taught him with Becca. Jeanette seems to be pleased with his attempt, burbling and reaching for his face. He’s not too proud to admit he melts like that great big sap that he is.

“I do not want a man who will protect my daughter,” Kara says quietly, “I want a man who will kill for her. Please, be her godfather.”

“Sarge,” Jim pushes and Bucky caves.

“Okay.”

Jeanette grabs at his chin and he smiles for the first time in what feels like decades.

“Okay.”

\----

Bucky returns to his manual labor jobs, but moves to Fresno just to be near Jeanette and help out Kara whenever Jim heads off on a mission. When Dum Dum and Frenchie’s wives get pregnant two years later, the three families come to some unspoken agreement and collectively relocate to the same neighborhood in New York. With most of the Howlies still working for the new S.H.I.E.L.D., they can live wherever they want. Bucky knows it’s not completely for him, the female contingent needs the support when their fellas are away, but it’s still the nicest thing they’ve ever done. 

Soon, Bucky settles into a stable gig with a contractor who renovates old homes. The job isn't easy, but his boss quickly finds out he can fix almost anything, and puts him to work on the tougher jobs. Everyday's a new challenge to overcome and Bucky begins to thrive again. He still misses Steve. The pain of his loss is a constant physical thing in his chest, but between the work and the kids, he starts to live again.

It quickly becomes a tradition and Bucky ends up godfather to all fourteen of the Howlie’s kids, eight of which are Frenchie’s, and they join him in New York. Jeanette is his secret favorite, though if Monty had had a child, he thinks they would have been a close runner up. 

The only one of his godchildren he ever has to kill for is Tony.

\----

More than anything, Bucky hates July 4th. People only make the mistake once of thinking he wants to celebrate the day Steve was born. He takes the week off and everyone knows to leave him alone the days before. God forbid you show up on the date itself. 

The only person he’ll see is Peggy and she only comes by once or twice. Neither of them are quite over Steve and they can’t look at each other without looking for him. Of course, he’s never there, and that never stops hurting.

\----

In 1955, James Buchanan Barnes is arrested for lewd conduct. The night captain served in the 107th and lets him go with a warning. Bucky manages to stay away from the clubs and bars where “his sort” meet, but only because none of the guys will ever be Steve. The dance clubs are easier, the women loose and there’s no danger of going to jail. Kara and Jemma, Dum Dum’s wife, give him the stink eye whenever they catch a sight of his one-night-stands and start plotting to set him up with a “nice girl”. Their husbands catch word of the plot and put a stop to it.

\----

The Howlies notice there’s something not quite right with Bucky in 1957. They don’t say anything to him, Peggy just shows up at his door one day. Before he can stop himself, he looks for Steve over her shoulder and feels the sucker punch of loss when he’s not there. Because she looked for him as well, they look back to each other at the same time. She smiles, he doesn’t, just steps aside to let her in. It’s not the Fourth, so this isn’t a social call.

“You look good, Pegs,” Bucky says when they’re situated in the living room. The radio’s on, playing Frank Sinatra. He loves swing music, especially when there’s a pretty woman to dance with.

“As do you, Sergeant,” she says. “That’s actually why I’m here. You don’t look a day over twenty.”

“Sorry?” 

“Bucky,” she says gently because he doesn’t understand what she’s getting at, “You’re forty years old. You should have wrinkles, grey hair, maybe a health scare under your belt. You haven’t been sick a day in the last twenty years, I checked.” 

She takes a breath, straightens her spine. 

“I think it’s time you told me what they did to you in Azzano.”

Licking suddenly dry lips, Bucky hesitates. The only person he ever told about Azzano was Steve, and he’d been so shook up after, Steve had made sure no one asked again. Bucky had assumed he’d told Peggy, but apparently not. Apparently, that was another secret that had died with him.

“Your family is concerned, Bucky,” Peggy says gently, “ _I’m_ concerned. Steve-” her voice breaks and she looks down, regaining her composure. “The least I can do for him, is to make sure the man he loved is all right.”

Bucky tells her. After all these years, it’s no easier than the first time, but he does it. It spills from him in a tangle of words as he lances the old wound. Zola, the needles, the torture, the tests; everything. He remembers it all, every detail, just like he hasn’t forgotten a thing since he left that hell hole. That, too, he shares, as well as the time he discovered he could no longer get drunk. Two things he never even told Steve.

When he’s done, Peggy’s shoulders have relaxed and she’s holding his hand tightly in her own.

“That’s what I thought,” she says gently, “Zola was working on a version of Erskine’s super soldier serum. He must have tested it on you and it took.”

“What’s it mean?” Bucky asks, drained and worried.

“We never got to study the effects, but I imagine you’re as strong and fast as Steve was. Erskine’s notes postulated that a potential side-effect of the serum would be a kind of immortality, as your body doesn’t age.”

“You’re saying I’m not gonna die?” Bucky repeats, incredulous and horrified. “I’m never gonna,” he makes himself say the words, “see Steve again?”

Whatever composure Peggy had managed thus far caves as Bucky’s voice shatters on the question. It’s an answer all on it’s own and he breaks down, sobbing brokenly as though he’s losing Steve all over again. Ostensibly he is, and Peggy knows it, sweeping around the low coffee table and wrapping him in her arms. It’s the opposite of last time they were like this, his face pressed against her starched shirt, head tucked beneath her chin. She holds on tight as he lets go of the last hope he had to see the love of his life again.

\----

A week later, Peggy is back with a sheaf of documents. As one of the founders of S.H.I.E.L.D., she’s pulled some strings to set up a new identity that better matches his age. Bucky becomes James Rogers - he cries again when he reads the name - and Peggy promises to have him new identification papers sent as he gets older. It’s another debt he can never repay. Not the papers themselves, but that she’s hiding him from the people who would use him the way they wanted to do to Steve.

They have a barbeque that weekend, Peggy stays and they tell the Howlies (wives long standing honorary members) the basics of what happened at Azzano and his new name. In an unspoken agreement, they start calling him James. Only the kids keep calling him Uncle Bucky.

\----

Bucky starts buying property around New York. If he’s going to live forever, he might as well take advantage of long term investments.

\----

Peggy begins to visit more and more often. Slowly, they both stop looking for Steve. It’s nice, familiar, and they get along as well as they ever did. At Christmas, they fall into bed together and stay that way for nearly a year. Everyone’s happy for them, but no one is surprised when it ends.

As break ups go, theirs is friendly. Peggy breaks it off, of course. Bucky is still in love with Steve, and she wants someone as dedicated to her as she will be to them. At first he’s afraid he’s ruined their friendship, but then she offers him a job at S.H.I.E.L.D. 

To his surprise, Bucky accepts. Later, it makes more sense. The kids are getting older and most of the original Howlies have retired. He’s not needed like he was, and puttering around his house, or his properties, only makes him miss Steve more. It won’t be the same as in the war, but fighting for Peggy is as good as fighting for Steve. 

When they ask him to pick a code name, Bucky thinks of Steve in his frozen tomb somewhere in the Arctic Circle. A part of Bucky’s heart is frozen with him.

“Winter Soldier,” he says.

\----

The Dodgers move to Los Angeles. Bucky has never felt more betrayed.

\----

Bucky’s days as a sniper are over. The skill never goes to waste, but they train him in hand-to-hand, infiltration, espionage, and give him so many new skills he literally cannot remember them all at once. The days of front line wars are over, after all, and the man he was isn’t needed. He becomes a spy, and in a way, it’s a fresh start, a new way of fighting the good fight that doesn’t remind him of Steve. 

After two years, he’s one of Peggy’s best agents. Unlike Steve, he never becomes a legend. He’s a ghost, S.H.I.E.L.D.’s last resort and first line of defense. He’s not alone, other ghosts and myths fight by his side, like Ant-Man and Wasp, and he sees things he would never have believed possible. 

At first, he wonders what Steve would say, but quickly has to stop. It hurts too much. However, the really weird stuff, or the stuff that’s simply incredible, gets put in a journal. It’s stupid, Steve will never read it, but it’s easier than holding it in. Peggy finds out and smiles approvingly, and he updates it more often.

Perhaps it helps him move on, because Bucky stops feeling like he’s cheating on Steve when he sleeps with women, and later men, on his missions. There’s even a few real relationships over the years, though none stick. It’s pathetic, he knows, holding on to a ghost when even Peggy has moved on, but he can’t let Steve go. He’s happy, though, and that’s progress.

\----

An accident takes Bucky’s left arm in ‘66. Howard makes him a new one, fully articulated and grafted to his spine and nervous system. In a nod to Steve, Howard puts a red star on the shoulder. It’s better than the old one in many ways, though the process to attach it is the most painful thing Bucky has ever experienced. 

\---

In 1974, Howard and Maria Stark give birth to their son, Tony. To Bucky’s horror, Howard turns out to be a horrible father. He hasn’t a clue why, but Tony’s his godson and he steps into the hole Howard leaves in his son’s life. It isn’t difficult. Tony is precocious, smarter than his father, and Bucky loves him from the start.

For seven years, he takes fewer missions, sees more baseball games with Tony on his shoulders, and keeps himself from taking Howard’s head off. Then he shows up one Sunday to pick up Tony and finds a bruise forming under the boy's eye. Maria won’t say what happened and Tony starts crying when he asks. It’s the family’s butler, Jarvis, who confirms Bucky’s suspicious that Howard laid hands on his son. 

That night, after a day spent bringing a smile back to Tony’s face in Central Park, Bucky confronts Howard in his hallway after he arrives home from a late night at S.H.I.E.L.D. He doesn’t shout, only quietly promises to break all the bones in Howard’s hands if he _ever_ hurts Tony like that again. Stark responds by banning him from the house and forbidding him from seeing his son again.

When Bucky moves as if to throw a punch, Howard flees down the hallway. Though he’s now trespassing, Bucky can’t just leave without saying goodbye. Before he can even turn around, though, a small hand slides into his own.

“Been practicing your stealth, I see,” Bucky says, crouching down so they’re on the same level.

“I’m not going to see you again, am I?” Tony asks.

“What do I always say, too smart for your own good,” Bucky laughs weakly and blinks back tears. “I wish that weren’t true, kiddo, but your dad-”

“Yeah.”

Pulling a blank card from his wallet and stealing a pen from the nearby table, Bucky quickly writes down a number and holds the slip of paper out to Tony. 

“If you ever need me, you call this number and I’ll be there in a heartbeat, okay? No questions asked. Memorize it. No matter what your dad wants, I’m gonna be there when you need me.”

Though he takes the card, Tony’s only seven and he starts to cry. It’s too much and Bucky breaks down, too, pulling the boy into a fierce hug.

“I don’t want you to go.”

“I don’t wanna go, kiddo. Sometimes you just gotta do things you don’t want to.”

Pulling back, Tony looks at him with pleading eyes that remind him too much of Becca’s.

“Take me with you! I won’t be any trouble, I swear! Please, Uncle Bucky, don’t leave me.”

“Oh, Tony,” Bucky’s throat closes, catching his breathing. “I can’t, if I did that, who would look after your mom? Or Jarvis?” He looks to the doorway where the quiet man is standing, watching them with a look as stricken as either his own, or Tony’s. “Someone’s gotta teach him to be stealthy. I could hear him comin’ a mile away.”

Wiping away his own tears on his jacket sleeve, he brushes away Tony’s with his flesh hand.

“Can you do that, kiddo? They need you, too, you know.”

Though he cries harder, Tony nods. Jarvis steps forward, pulling the boy to his side and letting him tuck his face against his perfectly pressed pants. 

Bucky stands, wipes at his eyes again and fixes the man with his hardest look.

“If this happens again-”

“I will call,” Jarvis promises softly, taking the card from Tony’s fist. They both know the boy’s memorized the phone number already.

With a final nod and one more look at Tony, Bucky leaves and never sets foot in the Stark house again.

\----

Every year, Bucky sends all his godkids Christmas and birthday cards, no matter what else he has going on. The ones for Tony go to Jarvis. He never writes back, but Bucky knows he gets them.

\----

Jim is the first Howling Commando to pass away in ‘83. The grief is powerful, more so than Bucky expects. Kara lets him stay with her and they spend long evenings telling stories about the man they’d all loved. It’s cathartic, but short-lived. Before the end of the decade, most of the Howlies pass away as well as a few of their wives. More than one promise is pulled from Bucky during a death side vigil to take care of those left behind and he finds his heart can break in entirely new and terrible ways.

For the first time since he lost Steve, Bucky struggles not to collapse under the weight of his depression. Like before, it’s the kids who keep him going. Jeanette and Gloria, Gabe’s eldest daughter, swing by weekly to check in on him. Steve, Dum Dum’s son, calls him every Friday evening and Bucky never misses it. 

Frenchie’s brood wrangle him into spending a month with them in France, seeing the sights with their mother, and all the places their father lived and grew up in. Bucky tells the youngest, Angelique, she has to remember everything, so she can tell her grandkids. No one minds that he starts crying when she refuses, telling him that’s going to be _his_ job when he’s godfather to her own children. After all, it’s tradition.

\----

The phone rings. Bucky’s grown his hair out long by now and has to shove it out of his face to see the caller ID. He doesn’t know the number, but he picks up because this line is the one he gives out for emergencies. 

At first he hears nothing but breathing after he says hello, but then a voice says, “Uncle Bucky?” and his breath leaves him in a woosh. 

“Tony?” he asks. It’s been nine years, and though his voice has changed, he’d still recognize the little boy he helped raise for eight years anywhere. “Are you all right? What’s wrong?”

There’s a silence on the phone, thick and uncertain. Bucky checks the connection three times to make sure it hasn’t been broken.

“Do you...Do you think I should be more like Captain America?”

Bucky snorts and leans back against his couch. It’s pathetic, the things Howard puts his son through. Whatever fight they’d had, though, has to have been awful if Tony felt compelled to break nearly a decade of silence.

“Steve was an idiot, Tony,” Bucky says, though the fondness is obvious in his voice. “Always got into trouble, never knew when to quit, stubborn as the day is long. You’re too smart for that shit. Besides, the world already had a Captain America. It needs Tony Stark now.”

There’s a noise on the line that Bucky kindly does not interpret as crying. When it stops, Tony’s still on the there, but he doesn’t speak. Bucky licks his lips and decides to close the distance the last years have left between them.

“I saw you won that Robot Design Award from M.I.T. That was...pretty impressive.”

Tony laughs, though it’s tight and wheezy.

“You had no idea what the design was of, did you?”

“Not a freakin’ clue,” Bucky admits with a smile. “Also read you’re set to graduate M.I.T. next year. That’s really incredible, kid. You’re doin’ great.”

“My dad doesn’t think so.”

Bucky has gathered that.

“Your dad doesn’t always see what’s right in front of him,” he says because it’s the only kind thing he can say about Howard these days. 

“Can I see you?”

“I’d like that, but your dad-”

“I don’t care,” Tony says in a rush. “Please, Uncle Bucky.”

Bucky rubs his temples, knows the shit Peggy will give him for antagonizing a co-worker, and decides he doesn’t care.

“There’s a Yankee’s game this weekend. You still like baseball?”

“You hate the Yankees.”

That Tony remembers melts Bucky’s heart.

“I do. You wanna go with me?”

“I’m in Massachusetts.”

“So?”

Tony gives him a real laugh this time and it make Bucky feel thirty years younger.

“Yeah, yeah, okay sure. What time?”

“I’ll email you the train you need to be on,” Bucky answers instead.

\----

On Tony’s insistence, Bucky sells several of his properties and buys new ones with the money. Later, the advice makes him a millionaire when he sells again. Tony refuses to accept his thanks.

\----

They go to every Yankee game because Tony finds Bucky’s anger hilarious. When he graduates, Bucky attends the ceremony along with Maria and Jarvis. Though he tries to pretend it doesn’t hurt, Tony is devastated his father doesn’t show. Maria makes Bucky promise not to confront Howard about it. He agrees, but regrets it within four years when when she and Howard die in a car accident because Tony never patches things up with his dad.

The funeral is lavish, the wake is lavish. When Jarvis dies a year later, the funeral and memorial are much quieter, private and warm. The contrast is revealing, more so than Tony probably wishes.

After Jarvis’ wake, Tony returns to his penthouse and to find Bucky’s moved into the guest bedroom. He stays, with neither of them mentioning the arrangements, for a year.

\----

Peggy retires when she’s seventy-five. By then she had moved on from both Steve and Bucky, ended up with a good man and a little brood of her own. S.H.I.E.L.D. is never the same without her. For a while, Bucky stays on, but quickly comes to a crossroads with the new director. S.H.I.E.L.D. was always a place of secrets, but he sees them multiply and spread like wildfire without Peggy there to reign them in. Unable to work with Fury, Bucky retires as well. There’s enough new agents, he doesn’t think they’ll even miss him.

\----

It takes a month for Bucky to figure what he wants to do next. When he figures it out, it’s completely accidental. Jeanette, cleaning the room he’s borrowing during a visit to meet his newest godson, stumbles across the journal he keeps for Steve. When she brings it back down stairs, holding it up, he’s mortified

“Tell me you didn’t read that,” he begs, scrambling to his feet.

“Uncle Bucky, this is beautiful,” she says, and that’s not at all what he expected, “I had no idea you were such a good writer. Did you ever think about becoming an author?”

“Of course not,” he blinks, trying to find a mental foothold, “That’s for people with degrees, ‘n’ higher education. Like you.”

Jeanette laughs and shakes her head, handing him the beaten-up moleskine.

“Well, what do you think about that biography Lewis Tesslin wrote about my dad last month?”

Bucky’s sure he’s discussed that biography with Jeanette. He buys all the biographies on the Howlies, but they’re never accurate and it always pisses him off. The author’s either focused too much on Steve, or gets the details of the team wrong entirely. However, it’s a topic change and he really _hates_ Tesslin’s book so he has no trouble launching into a rant. 

“Well, why don’t you write their stories?” Jeanette interrupts just as he’s getting up a good head of steam.

“Me? I… Well, would anyone read it for any reason besides my name?”

She smiles at him.

“I would.”

That’s all the convincing he needs. 

The first book is about Jim, since it's his daughter that inspired him. It is snatched by the first publisher he shows it to. He gets a contract to write a book on each of the guys and one on him and Steve, but only if he has complete control over what gets printed. They agree, but only if he writes under his real name. Exposing himself to the world is a sacrifice Bucky is willing to make to ensure the Howlies get the legacy they deserve and the world learns that James Barnes’ second biggest secret.

\----

As Tony gets older, he grows away from Bucky. It hurts, but it’s obvious the kid needs to find his own way out from under his father’s shadow. Then in 2010, Tony is kidnapped by insurgents. As soon as he sees the clip on the news, Bucky catches the first plane to the area. 

The Winter Soldier comes out of retirement. 

Months and bodies later, Bucky finds where the sons-of-bitches are keeping his godson. Praying he isn't too late, he takes his stolen jeep a mile from the coordinates, and hikes in just in time for the fireworks show. A giant metal suit with a flamethrower is destroying everything in sight while being fired on by a dozen hostiles. It’s Tony, he knows it is, and hurries to take up a firing position.

Before Bucky can help, the lot goes up in a giant fireball. 

It’s like losing Steve all over again, only somehow worse. Bucky screams at the sky, loud enough it echoes back to him. A few seconds sooner and he _could_ have done something to help Tony, unlike when Steve crashed his plane. 

When he stops, the scream doesn’t stop with him. A lone projectile sails away from the explosion, and _it’s_ screaming as it crashes to Earth. It’s nearly a klick to the east, so Bucky runs back to the jeep, then drives like a madman. The debris from Tony’s fall are effortless to spot, scattered over a tall dune, and Bucky is out of the jeep and running up the hill before the vehicle comes to a full stop.

Stuck in the sand, Tony has managed to get his helmet off and stares at him in shock. Bucky can hardly believe his eyes himself.

“Uncle Bucky?”

Bucky laughs. Tony hasn't called him that in at least five years. 

“Hey, kid. Sorry I'm late, but looks like you didn't need the help anyway.”

Taking his hand, Bucky hauls and the metal arm whirrs. The sand doesn't want to let Tony go, but Howard's tech wins out in the end. It's not much of a surprise to find the state Tony’s in, but he looks him over just to make sure there's no serious injuries. There's so much sand and-

“What is that thing in your chest?”

“Miniature arc reactor,” Tony doesn't explain, “It's keeping shrapnel from killing me and powered the suit.”

“Huh,” Bucky says because really it's not the weirdest thing he's heard of and it wasn’t really English anyways. “Let's get you home, kid.”

“I’ve been missing for three months,” Tony says as they walk down the dune to the jeep.

“You have.”

“But you're here.”

Bucky looks at him curiously. 

“Been lookin’ for you. Where'd you think I'd be?”

There's something in Tony’s eyes, but it disappears without an answer to Bucky's question. 

“You know,” he says, “There's a Yankees game this weekend.”

“We're on the other side of the world, kid.”

“So? You know, I’ve got box tickets.”

Bucky laughs.

“Course you do. Let's go catch us a plane, then. Don't wanna miss the game.”

\----

They never miss another home game again. Even after Tony becomes Iron Man and he has to go out to save the world, they’ll at least catch the game on DVR when he comes back. Bucky worries about him, but he learned how to let the people he loved grow up when Steve showed up bigger than Bucky remembered. Besides, Tony knows if he needs him, Bucky will be there and when he isn’t, Pepper is more than capable of wrangling him.

\----

James Barnes makes his first talk show appearance with Ellen DeGeneres in 2011 after releasing his much-anticipated, semi-autobiographical book on his own and Steve’s life. The fact that he’s alive is old news, but the fact that he and Steve weren’t just best pals has exploded across the headlines. Bucky knew it would be shocking, but stopped caring when the Supreme Court declared it was unconstitutional to call what he is illegal. Which was nice, considering he’d been dating a guy for the past year and a half (Tony didn’t like Kevin, but then Tony didn’t like anyone Bucky dated).

Behind the scenes of show business is just like Steve described it. All flash, lots of sparkle, a little bit of truth, and a whole lot of bullshit. Steve never would admit it, but Bucky knew he’d enjoyed his time in the spotlight. Really, he could see the appeal. The audience roared when his name was announced as the night’s special guest and he walked onto stage in his Armani suit, smiling at the crowd before shaking the host’s hand. They sat again and Bucky felt his first real nerves.

“Bucky, can I call you Bucky?”

“It’s not used too often these days, but sure,” Bucky smiled, “so long as I can call you Ellen.”

“That would just be fantastic,” Ellen beams, “You know, you look really good for being in your 90s.”

The audience laughs, Bucky shakes his head and offers his best smile.

“Now,” Ellen continues, “I have to know, why’d you pick this show to do your first ever interview?”

Bucky is expecting the question because they’ve gone over everything beforehand.

“Can I be frank?”

“Please,” Ellen says, sitting forward.

“Because you’re the only open talk show host,” Bucky says sincerely, remembering not to look into the cameras like they told him, “That means I trust you, at least a little.”

“Just a little?” she teases.

“Well,” Bucky leans back and shrugs a shoulder, “They are saying I’ve destroyed a national icon.”

“Do _you_ think you’ve destroyed Captain America?”

“No,” Bucky says quickly, brow furring because this wasn’t on the list. It is a good question, though, so it should have been. “Steve and I- Well, we were _always_ Steve and I. No matter what everyone else wants to believe, we were in love. The Howling Commandos all knew, Peggy-”

“She gave you such a nice interview.”

Bucky smiles softly.

“Yeah, she’s aces.”

“So did everyone know about you and Steve?”

“Not everyone, but the ones who mattered. I know someone recently leaked the tapes of when Steve-” Bucky has to clear his throat. “When his plane went down. That’s real. That’s us. It doesn’t matter if they don’t like it, it’s still fact.”

“I see the death of Captain America still really affects you.”

Bucky frowns, looking down and pausing so his voice won’t crack when he answers.

“I don’t think you ever get over losing someone like that. Relationships... We’re not built to have them end that way. There’s no closure, no last argument, last try to make it work, it’s just...over. Steve and I didn’t fall apart. He was ripped away and that leaves a scar that doesn’t heal easy.”

“Has it healed?” Ellen presses. “Is there a lucky man in your life?”

The smile that spreads over Bucky’s face is genuine because Kevin does make him happy. Not like Steve did, but he’s gonna live forever and has to at least try to move on, for his family if for no one else. 

“There is, actually.”

“In the tapes, of you and Steve, you two are talking about a wedding. Are there more wedding bells in your future?”

Bucky laughs.

“If there are, I promise you’ll be the first to know. Well, after my fella.”

The audience awws and Ellen takes the moment to sip from her water.

“So does that mean you’re not in love with Steve Rogers anymore?”

Frowning, Bucky slowly shakes his head.

“I don’t think that I’ll ever really stop loving Steve.”

“No,” Ellen laughs, “I mean, who could?”

“If they knew him? No one.”

The interview is a colossal success, professionally speaking. His publisher is thrilled and Bucky becomes a semi-regular guest because he gets on so well with Ellen. His prediction of the other talk shows proves true. They throw him curve balls, take digs at him and Steve, and one even insults him to his face. He comes out on top and decides not to go back. The public is, mostly, on his side so it doesn’t matter anyways.

Personally, the interview doesn’t go over so well. Kevin leaves him a few months later because he can’t get over it. Tells Bucky he won’t compete with a ghost. Bucky isn't as upset as he should be, and starts to consider that, after 60 years, maybe dating isn't for him.

\----

In 2012, Nick Fury calls his emergency line. To be fair, Bucky has been avoiding his calls on his house and cell phone the entire day. However, he has refused the offer to join Avenger’s Initiative and doesn’t see a reason to talk to the man. As he put it, he’s done being a dancing monkey. He still had to console Tony when he was refused, but Bucky’s insistence that Fury was a dick went a long way.

“You shouldn’t have this number,” Bucky says into the phone.

Fury gets right to the point.

“It’s Steve. We found him.”

Bile rises in Bucky’s throat. Somehow, finding out they’re going to lay Steve’s body to rest is not the kind of closure everyone always said it would be. The reason is simple, though. He has had to share every part of Steve with the world except his grave. No one could have that. Now it’ll probably be a national monument.

Voice raspy with unshed tears, Bucky gives Fury no quarter.

“I could have learned that from the news.”

Fury responds in kind because he’s as much an asshole as Bucky.

“Captain Rogers is not dead.”

The world tips, slides sideways, and Bucky’s not sure how he keeps breathing.

“Where is he?”

“We're flying him to S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters in New York City. A quinjet is waiting to pick you up at Stark Tower. You still got your old uniform from the 40s?”

“What? Yeah, why?”

“Bring it.”

Bucky didn’t think anything could surprise him any more. He finds out he’s wrong.


	2. Reunion

Bucky hasn't slept since they brought him to the weird cube they've set up to resemble a hospital room from back in the day. The radio plays a loop of a Dodgers game from 1941, and a projection shows what looks to be the old skyline through the window. There's an agent he's never met in an old-timey army hospital uniform, but it doesn't look quite right. None of it feels like home, it's an ill-fitting mix of then and now and Bucky knows Steve will see through the ruse. He tells Fury, but the fucker responds that, if he doesn’t want to play along, he can leave. That's why Bucky sits in his old dress greens, hands gloved, hair pulled up under his hat since he’d refused a haircut; he's playing along.

After three days, Steve is still asleep. The doctors don't know when he'll wake, or how his mind will be after the cryostasis his body has been in. There is, after all, no one else around who has survived being frozen like that because the human body cannot heal the damaged cells fast enough. Bucky should have known Steve could. Should have looked for him, not merely assumed the worst, and he's spent every moment awake beating himself up for failing Steve so badly.

The stupid game is playing for the bizillionth time when Steve finally wakes up. Bucky doesn't notice because he's staring at his hands - he’d stopped staring at Steve's sleeping face after the first fourteen hours - and the man already knows something's not right, so he doesn't telegraph that he's awake. 

It's only when Steve asks, “Bucky?” with such confusion that he becomes aware of the change. Then Bucky’s throat is too tight for him to speak because Steve’s so much like his dreams, and thank god he never forgot, never got it wrong, the way Peggy does these days. 

Steve is sitting up, looking at the radio in disbelief when Bucky can manage a rough, “Hey, Stevie.”

The little lines between Steve's eyes say he's no less confused, but before he can speak, Agent Nurse waltzes in. She walks wrong, dresses wrong, talks wrong, and Steve can see it. Bucky raises an eyebrow at one of the hidden cameras, because really? Steve is _not_ stupid.

“Good morning, Captain Rogers, or should I say, good afternoon,” says Ms. Agent Nurse because it was determined Bucky would give the game away if he talked too much. They're not wrong. He would have said something already, except this is a train wreck in progress and he doesn't want to look away until the crash.

Once again, Steve's eyes focus on the radio playing the recording of a game he and Steve saw back in 1941 together.

“Where am I?” he asks.

Ms. Agent Nurse can't see he's already figured her out.

“You're in a recovery room in New York City.”

Steve glances at him, so Bucky shrugs. This is Steve's play.

“Where am I really?”

This time, Steve's voice is hard, dangerous, and the agent notices, but she's still not done with the game. Unable to hide his reaction, Bucky smirks at the camera. He's so fucking proud of Steve it hurts and he leans back in his chair, lounging now to enjoy the show. 

“I'm afraid I don't understand,” Agent Nurse says with a little laugh. 

“The game,” Steve presses the advantage, “It's from 1941. I know ‘cause we were there.”

The agent’s face falls, but that's not what sets Bucky’s muscles tensing. He watches her palm a panic button, narrowing his eyes and flicking them towards the door. Even after all this time, Steve is so in tune with him he doesn't have to be looking to feel it and stands abruptly.

“Now, I'm going to ask you again,” Steve says and Bucky climbs to his feet because he's getting in the dame’s face, “Where am I?”

“Captain Rogers,” she tries, clicking the little device in her hand. 

“Who are you?” he interrupts and two STRIKE agents burst into the room. Before Steve can chuck them through the wall like he looks to want to, Bucky slides between them and Steve, hand brushing his friend’s, maybe something else’s - he doesn't know what they are anymore - shoulder to keep him from charging in.

“Stand down, agents,” Bucky growls. Fury must repeat his order, because they glance at each other and lower their guns. “Good boys, now get out.”

Agent Nurse is the first out the door. The STRIKE agents follow, glaring because the animosity between Bucky and STRIKE isn't gone after ten years of retirement, and only then does Bucky relax.

“What the hell is going on?” Steve demands.

Showing rather than telling will be more effective, and Bucky directs his attention to the hidden camera he picked earlier to look at.

“What did I say, Fury?” he asks, pulling off the stupid tie he's wearing and tossing it away. “Didn't I say he'd notice? Didn't I say this was the stupidest idea you've ever had? Now we're doin’ this my way.”

Steve watches, fascinated, as the jacket follows the tie.

“Buck, who are you talking to?”

“The asshole in charge of this farce,” Bucky answers, focusing on Steve and making his eyes widen when he pulls off his hat, tosses it on the bed, and pulls his hair free to fall about his face and neck. 

“You’ve been asleep a really long time, Steve,” Bucky says gently as he pulls off the gloves, “A really, really long time.”

“How long?” Steve asks and sucks in a breath as he sees Bucky’s hand isn’t, well, a hand any more. “Your hand…”

“Seventy years,” Bucky answers.

“Seventy-” Steve’s expression contorts, eyes locked on the metal hand, “You- Buck, that would make you over ninety years old.”

“Ninety-seven next month, but who’s counting.”

“ _How_?”

Bucky shrugs; it's easy now that so much time's past

“Zola.”

Steve's expression twists.

“Your hand-”

The door opens and Fury sweeps in. It's impressive; Bucky and Tony had always wondered how long he’d practiced in a mirror until he got it right.

“That's enough, Agent Barnes.”

Bucky can only smile as Steve moves to his right, their shoulders brushing. It's as clear a message as any whose side he's on.

“Did I get reinstated?” Bucky quips, his heart so full it could burst from joy. “I thought I remembered retiring, you know, becoming a civilian and doing the whole author thing.”

Steve looks at him sidelong, but keeps his focus on Fury who is staring hard at Bucky.

“You’ve been spending too much time with Tony.”

Grinning unrepentantly, Bucky turns his attention to Steve, where it belongs, and motions to Fury.

“This is Director Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. They’re they guys who took over for the SSR after the War. We don’t get along.”

“I noticed,” Steve mutters, but he’s still polite when he asks, “Director, is there a reason Bucky isn’t allowed to talk to me?”

“I’d prefer if you were properly debriefed, Captain,” Fury says and it sounds almost friendly. “As he said, Barnes is a civilian these days. We wouldn’t want him to overhear anything classified.” 

Bucky is trained to have perfect control of himself, so Fury knows that he doesn’t bother trying to hold in his laugh. There’s a good chance he knows where more bodies are buried than Fury himself.

“With all due respect, Director,” Steve says, placing a hand on Bucky’s shoulder to try to calm him down, “Bucky was there when all this happened. He’s as aware of events as I am.”

“Ah, that’s okay, Stevie,” Bucky says, smirking and looking down as he pulls a Stark Phone from his pocket. “I’ll just let the papers know you’re back.” Glancing at Fury, he gives his best shit-eating grin and Steve snorts, though he can’t know exactly what Bucky is up to. “Ellen’s going to be so happy, you know she loves my interviews.”

Fury sighs.

“Unauthorized release of classified information is treason, Barnes.”

“Classified?” Bucky repeats, feigning confusion. Steve is doing a very good job not laughing; Bucky is proud. “No one told me this was classified. Shit, okay, I’ll just text Tony and Peggy, let them know they can’t tell anyone. Dr. Pym, too.” Looking at Steve, he says, “Swell guy, Dr. Pym. I should introduce you. Has a suit of his own, not a big fan of S.H.I.E.L.D. though. Eh,” he looks back down at his phone, “I’m sure he’ll do the right thing. Though,” he clicks his tongue, “Peggy these days, that memory, she might think my text is code to _release_ the pictures I sent her.”

By now, Steve is actively staring at the floor, hands shoved deep in his pockets. His lips are pressed hard together, eyebrows drawn, as he holds himself back from laughing. It’s one of Bucky’s favorite expressions.

Fury just looks like an irritated father with two uppity kids in a crowded restaurant. It is assuredly not as attractive.

“I get the picture, Barnes. You can watch the debriefing, but I want that phone.”

“Oh, yeah sure,” Bucky offers him the Stark Phone, “You can keep it. Tony made sure it uploads everything straight to Stark Industries private servers. Got all my contacts backed up to the cloud.” He looks to Steve. “The cloud’s, uh, like remote storage for backup files.”

Fury roll his eyes so hard, Bucky’s surprised the patch stays on.

“This way, Captain, _Mister_ Barnes.”

Turning on his heel, Fury strides from the cube. Grinning, Steve presses his fist to his mouth to express his amusement before they leave. Bucky just winks, and Steve has to regain his composure as he walks out the door all over again. God, how he had missed the man.

\----

Seven hours later, Bucky and Steve are still at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, sitting behind one way glass with Fury, as Agent Hill repeats the same stupid question a different way for the fourth time. He’s caught himself dozing off at least twice and Steve looks no better. With the shitty chair he’s in, Bucky imagines his ass is also plenty sore.

Another cup of coffee is put in front of Fury and Bucky looks at it longingly, but caffeine affects him as much as alcohol, meaning not at fucking all. Through the window, he sees Steve give Hill’s new cup the same look and smiles. That’s the last straw, however. Steve’s too polite with the brass to put a stop to this, so Bucky will.

“I think we’re done here,” he says softly.

Fury doesn’t even look at him.

“You do, do you?”

“He’s answered every question, it’s all consistent because he’s not lying, and you’re still putting him through this. It’s enough. He needs something real, something- For fucks sake, Nick, he’s been through enough. He _died_ for us. What more can you ask of him?”

“That’s a good question.” Fury sips from his coffee cup. “Captain Rogers is property of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the DoD. We can ask anything we please of him.”

Bucky really doesn’t mean to put his fist through the table, it just happens. The resulting crash is loud enough that Steve and Agent Hill pause, looking at the window. The former looks like he might come through said window, while the latter's expression holds more than a little trepidation. Bucky did train her; she’s more than aware of what he’s capable.

“You want to run that buy me again?” Bucky growls.

Not appearing intimidated at all, Fury says, “I don’t believe I stuttered.”

Glaring at the two other Agents in the room, Bucky growls, “Get the hell out,” and they flee. It’s not a surprise; Tony says his murder face is top notch.

“Is this personal?” he demands of Fury. “Are you doing this to him because I turned down the invitation to your fuckin’ tea party?”

“I’m merely informing you of the facts, Barnes.”

Bucky bares his teeth in what only a fool would consider a smile.

“Then how about you consider the _facts_ of what will happen when the general population finds out Captain America is not only still alive, but considered legal property by the government. He’s a goddamn war hero, Nick. I knew you were a grade-A asshole, but this _level_ of bullshit is somethin’ else.”

Getting abruptly to his feet, Bucky paces the length of the little observation room.

“And let me inform you about some more _facts_ , since you’re out of your gourd. I’m a civilian. You can’t hold me here, and if you try, not only will you not be capable, if you somehow succeed, Iron Man will bring this whole fucking building down on your head. And let’s not forget, I worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. for over fifty _years_. I know where all the fucking bodies are buried. I mean, we can start with Zola and Operation Paperclip. I still got a bone t’pick about _that,_ and don’t think for a second I’ll be afraid of this high treason, capital punishment crap. Even if you could prove I was the leak, this is Steve we’re talking about. I’d die for him in a heartbeat.”

To his surprise, Fury _smiles_.

“So what do you propose?”

Licking his lips, Bucky’s mind spins as he realizes Fury’s set him up. The only question is, why? Why would Fury want to make sure Bucky pulled out all the stops to get Steve free? And who could possibly make Fury do anything? Except, he knows that answer too. The World Security Council. So, what do they want with Steve and why does Fury have to use Bucky to get them to back off?

Looking out the window, Bucky sees both Hill and Steve are still staring at the window even though they can’t see through it. He swallows, sits back down and shakes his head. Another crash and Steve _will_ start causing property damage.

“You’re done with the debrief and he’s done with the Army. File whatever fucking paper you gotta, but he’s getting an honorable discharge. Then, if he _chooses_ to join S.H.I.E.L.D., I’ll get on board with that Avengers thing, but you offer that tomorrow. Right now, we’re going home.”

Still smiling, Fury faces him.

“That’s very reasonable blackmail, Barnes. Tell you what, we’ll release Captain Rogers under the supervision of the Winter Soldier. He’s our oldest and best agent, never really fell off the books you know. Though, I hear there’s been a screw up in payroll I’ll have to look into, but that’s all right. We won’t be letting Captain America, a priceless commodity, run around with a civilian unsupervised. That would just be crazy.”

There’s nothing left to break, so the arm whirrs and chirps with his anger. Yet he knows this is another game. There’s _always_ another game and that was why Bucky had retired. He hated it, hated the games and the double talk, the secrets within secrets, and the shit that people were saying, but only if you listened to every third word and removed the ones that started with an “s”. Yet, here he was, and Fury was clearly playing some angle that Bucky didn’t _understand_ , but had to do with keeping Steve out of someone’s hands, so did it even matter? 

Of course not.

“What do you say, Agent?” Fury demanded.

Bucky bites out his answer.

“That’s a wonderful idea, sir.”

Fury nods, tapping on the glass. The signal makes Agent Hill stand and motion to Steve. Something is up, Steve knows, but he follows because what else is there to do? Next to him, Fury stands as well, and Bucky follows to the door. There, the director pauses, offering his hand to Bucky as Agent Hill and Steve leave their adjoining room. Grimacing, Bucky takes it and shakes. Ever observant, Steve’s eyes dart from it, to Bucky, and he gets those lines between his eyebrows.

“A pleasure as always, _Agent_ Barnes. Captain, thank you for your time. Tomorrow, we’ll have you back to see the doctors so they can ensure there are no lasting side-effects from your extended sleep. In the meantime, have no worries, you’ll be staying with our best Agent. It’ll give you two time to catch up, and get you used to the world again.”

Steve’s baby blues search Bucky’s and he can see the idiot’s going to say something stupid. Stepping forward before he can blow whatever it is Fury is up to, Bucky catches Steve by the arm and nods to Agent Hill.

“Lovely to see you as always, Maria. Give my regards to Phil. Nick, lose that phone number. We’ll be back tomorrow.”

Without stopping or slowing, Bucky drags Steve through the building to the parking garage. Because it looks like there’s no one around, Steve tries to talk to him.

“Bucky, what the hell just happened?”

“Ears, Steve,” Bucky says shortly. 

Immediately he whips his head around, searching for the cameras that he can’t possibly recognize. It took Bucky years of training to spot the ones he can see and there’s always a chance he’s missed some. At his bike, an old Harley that Tony bought him for his last birthday, Steve lets out a low whistle when he realizes the black and chrome monster is their ride.

“Nice bike,” Steve says appreciatively. “Don’t recognize the year.”

Bucky sighs and tosses him a helmet.

“Seventy years, Steve.”

“You’re gonna say that a lot, aren’t you?”

“I’m ninety six,” Bucky says, pulling on his own helmet and straddling the saddle, “Gotta get my fun somewhere.”

The helmet has radio communication, so Steve hears him clearly. It also means he hears Steve just fine when he slides onto the bike, wraps his arms tightly around Bucky’s waist, and says, “Here I thought your idea of fun was a long ride.”

Heat blossoms in Bucky’s groin, but he ignores it and Steve, kicks the engine to life and roars up the ramp. As soon as they’re on the street, Steve’s hands slide under his shirt. They immediately swerve sideways and a bike messenger has to dive to get out of the way. Steve carefully removes his hands again, which is a blessing _only_ because Bucky has calls to make.

“Call Tony Stark,” he tells the computer that Tony built into the helmets.

“Stark?” Steve repeats.

“Howard’s kid, now shush.” 

“But you said to call-”

Tony picks up a moment later and is utterly Tony.

“You know who I am and I know who you are, so let’s spare the niceties. Did you get him?”

Steve is startled into silence.

“Got ‘im,” Bucky grins fiercely and runs a red light. 

“Bucky! Traffic laws!”

“Huh, so you did. Your boy’s a stickler for rules?”

Bucky snorts.

“Are you kidding? If he was driving, we’d be there by now.”

“Very funny, Buck.”

“It’s true,” Bucky protests, “Remember in Vienna when-”

“As touching as this is, I’m actually late for a date with Pepper,” Tony interrupts.

Bucky laughs.

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks for your help, kid. Tell ‘er I send my love.”

“My pleasure. I do have one question, though.”

“Shoot.”

“Now you’ve got the love of your life back,” Steve sputters at Tony’s words, “we still on for Sunday?” 

Though he probably doesn’t sound different to Steve, Bucky can hear the wariness in his godson’s voice. Howard Stark strikes again. It’s worth more than Bucky’s entire fortune to hold the sigh in his chest. Bucky’s going to have to work extra hard to prove that he doesn’t love Tony any less just because Captain America is in his life again.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, kiddo. I’ll talk to you later. We need to do dinner, get them pesky niceties out of the way.”

“I’ll have JARVIS set something up.”

The call ends and Steve asks, “How old is he?”

“Forty-two.”

“Jesus.”

Bucky sighs.

“Seventy years, Steve.”

“How’d he know about us?” Steve asks, ignoring the dig.

“Everyone knows about us,” Bucky confesses. “I wrote a book.”

“What?” 

“Okay,” Bucky drawls, “I wrote _six_ books. Not the point. The _point_ is, everyone knows, and by _everyone,_ I mean everyone not living under a rock.”

“How are you not in jail?”

“Being gay isn’t illegal anymore, Stevie. No one gets to tell us we can’t be in love. Well, they can, but they can’t _do_ anything about it. Get used to it, sweetheart; the whole world knows you're mine.”

There’s a pause and Steve’s hand moves to slide under his shirt again. Bucky’s heart goes into overdrive and he promptly runs another red light, sending irate drivers shouting at them out widows and horns blazing. The shit that he is, Steve just laughs, but at least he doesn’t put his hand under Bucky’s shirt. There are still more calls to make.

It has been way too goddamn long since Bucky got laid.

Bucky calls Dr. Pym and Sharon Carter during the rest of the drive uptown to the townhouse he lived in on the Upper West Side. Of course, Bucky had told Fury he had contacted Peggy, but she really would have forgotten what to do with his messages. Sharon, on the other hand, had access to her Aunt’s phones and, though an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., was also one of his many godchildren. Even if she hadn’t been, he was pretty sure she would do whatever she had to to protect Steve for her aunt’s sake.

When they park on the street, Steve stares up at the four-storey brick townhouse smooshed between several others with his mouth open. 

“This is yours?” he blurts.

“Not all of it,” Bucky shrugs. “Top floor and a bit more. You’ll see. I love it. Bought it couple years ago and fixed it up myself.”

They go up the three flights of stairs, and Bucky unlocks the door on the fourth floor. He holds it open for Steve and hears the man swallow hard after he enters. Bucky grins; he’d known Steve would love the place as much as he did. The main reason he’d bought it was because it reminded him so much of their shitty little place in Brooklyn. Oh, his home was much nicer, they were only a block away from Central Park after all, but nothing else had felt this comfortable. 

The ceiling is his favorite part and he sees Steve’s mouth is open as he looks along exposed beams. It was a different color than their old flat, and took a lot of work to get it in proper shape, but it’s exactly like theirs in 1941. The exposed brick walls complement the wood as well as match the hardwood floors. The latter he had put in himself, though the brick he’d found behind garish yellow spotted wallpaper. 

“Kitchen,” Bucky says, pointing to the right as they walk through the door to his gourmet kitchen with the solid copper sink he’d slaved away installing and built-in breakfast bar. “Obviously. Lots of fancy stuff for cooking - Yes, I learned how to cook - and I’ll show you how the fancy appliances work later. Try not to touch anything until then.”

On the other side of the kitchen counters, the living room stretched to the three huge windows that faced out onto the street. They weren’t floor to ceiling, but that had allowed Bucky to frame them in, adding bench seats which would have been perfect for Steve to sit and draw, using that natural lighting he was always going on about back in the day. The two couches were plush and wide, soft fabric in front of a sturdy granite coffee table. A flat screen television hanging off the wall made it perfect for Tony and him to watch the game when they met here.

“Living room,” Bucky points out obviously, “That sliding door on your left is a bathroom, but it’s really tiny, so pretty much no supersoldiers allowed.” He then points to the stainless steel cable staircase against the wall opposite his television. “Bedroom’s up there. If, uh, you don’t wanna share, I’ll be more than happy on the couch.”

“This...this is gorgeous, Bucky,” Steve stares, wide eyed, and wanders towards the stairs. “How can you afford this?”

“I’m immortal, I have a genius handling my real estate investments, and I’m a very successful author, so I have a lot of money these days. Seventy-”

“Years, yeah. Starting to get what you meant by that… This place...”

“I know. It was nothin’ like this when I got it, but I took one look and… Well, it’s us.”

Steve looks back at him from the foot of the stairs, disbelief and reluctant hope clear in his features.

“After all this time?”

Bucky can’t help the soft smile that takes over his lips.

“You groped me on the ride over here, nearly killed us, and still think I don’t want you?”

“When you put it like that…”

Laughing, Bucky shakes his head.

“Welcome _home_ , Stevie.”

Instead of running up the stairs like Bucky expected, Steve comes back around and grabs the front of Bucky’s dress shirt. He shoves him back against the kitchen counter, then yanks him forward into a bruising kiss. Moaning, he opens his mouth to Steve’s insistent tongue and shudders. The arm reacts and Steve starts, pulling away, as the plates shift and click together, tightening and then loosening again, under his clothes. Gasping for breath, Bucky watches as Steve stares at his shoulder and realizes it isn’t just a hand that that was lost.

“Can I… Can I see?” he asks, hesitant now.

Rolling his eyes, Bucky quickly unbuttons his shirt and throws it aside. There’s a mess of scar tissue on his chest, where the metal was melded with his body. It’s ugly, but surprisingly sensitive. The arm is as well. Though he can’t feel pain, he can feel everything else.

“What… What happened?” Steve asks.

Because he’s Steve - and though he’s one of the smartest guys Bucky's’ ever known, he doesn’t think everything through - he presses his palm to where flesh meets metal before Bucky can answer. Instantly, the arm reacts, recalibrating again. It’s not just the arm, Bucky’s entire _body_ recalibrates. He’s shuddering like he’s been doused with ice water and left gasping for air as he closes his eyes tightly. He’s not cold, though, he’s hot, so hot, and- Jesus fucking Christ, _really_? Just _one_ touch? 

“Shit,” Steve curses, jerking away, “I didn’t think- Did I hurt you?”

“No,” Bucky tries to assure him, but his hand is shaking as he takes Steve’s and it doesn’t look like he believes it. Carefully, as if he might shatter, he presses Steve’s hand to his chest, away from the surprisingly sensitive scar tissue. It’s warm, heavy and _real_. 

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Bucky pants, closing his eyes again as Steve’s hand slides back towards the joint. As soon as he touches the metal, the arm recalibrates again.

“That’s… That’s incredibly hot.”

Bucky laughs weakly.

“You are definitely the only person to think so.”

Steve freezes, lines deeping between his eyebrows. When he looks away, towards the windows, Bucky braces for a hard question.

“Buck, are you…courting anyone right now?”

“Would it matter if I was?”

The lines deepen as blue eyes dart back up to his, searching.

“Really,” Bucky presses, “Would it? I’ve fucked up every relationship I’ve had since you died - since I _thought_ you died, and it’s all ‘cause you’re the only guy - only _person_ I’ve ever loved. Steve, you were dead and I bought you a house for Christ’s sake. So, tell me, would it matter if I _was_ seeing someone?”

Though he holds Steve’s gaze, Bucky’s guilt wars with itself in his chest. For so long he’d felt like he was letting down his family by not moving on, not settling down the way they wanted. That feeling is still there, but now he wishes he’d never tried. It would have been lonely, but lonely would be better than the hard, angry look Steve gives him a moment later.

“You call him and you break it off,” Steve demands. 

“Can’t,” Bucky admits, “Did that three days ago. First call I made after Nick - Director Fury told me they found you. Calling now would just be a dick move.”

“First call?” Steve repeats. “Calling is what you were doing on the bike?”

Bucky imagines he doesn’t know what a dick move is either. 

“Steve-”

A hard kiss interrupts Bucky and he goes with it. Neither of them wants to talk about what Bucky did with people who weren’t Steve over the last seven decades. He can feel Steve’s anger in the kiss, in the way he bites at Bucky’s lips. They should talk about it, they should, it would be healthy. They won’t. They’re going to fuck and, later, they’re going to fight.

“Show me the bedroom,” Steve demands.

Shivering, Bucky grabs Steve’s hand and drags him upstairs. Halfway up, Steve freezes, taking in the wall to wall skylights installed above the bed that offer a perfect view of the sky. It’s New York, so there’s not really a chance for stargazing, but Steve had always loved looking up at the night sky. Up here, the walls are also made of wood, as is the floor, and the ceiling has the same exposed beams, though painted black to break up all the wood surfaces. Bucky’s installed storage into every available surface, and he’s happy to say only half are filled with weapons these days.

“Wow,” Steve breathes. 

“Yeah,” Bucky grins, “Thought you’d love that ceiling. Feel free to use the desk. Installed it, then ended up doing all my writing on my laptop.”

“Laptop?” Steve repeats.

“Get this: a personal, portable, computer.”

“What’s a computer?”

Bucky blinks, opens his mouth, then closes it again.

“Shit, seventy years is longer than I thought it was. Later, then, just consider the desk your space.”

“My space,” Steve slowly walks into the room, runs his hand over the built-in desk, the shelves on either side. He glances at the bed, scowls, and Bucky vows to buy them a new one tomorrow. If their situations were reversed, he thinks there would have been a lot more shouting already. As it is, all he can do is stare and fight down the lump in his throat. He’s pictured Steve here so many time and now it’s _real_.

“Buck?” Steve says, head craned back to look out the skylight.

Clearing his throat, Bucky shoves his hands in his pockets.

“Yeah, darlin’?”

Steve’s smile is slow and sweet.

“You’re not sleeping on the couch.”

“‘M not?”

Shaking his head, Steve demands, “Get over here.”

Bucky wastes no time doing as requested. When he gets to Steve, he shivers as both Steve’s hands curl over his shoulders, holding him still. It is really not fair that Steve is not as affected as he is.

“This house is one hell of a gesture,” Steve murmurs, fingers stroking over the muscles of Bucky’s shoulders. 

Bucky isn’t sure what to say to that, because you can’t make gestures for the dead. Helplessly, he looks up into Steve’s eyes, hands wrapping about his trim waist to find it still fits perfectly in his grip despite a different left arm.

“You want your name on the deed?” he asks weakly, unable to think of anything else.

Eyebrows shooting up, Steve searches his gaze.

“Seriously?”

“Anything,” Bucky says fervently, “ _Anything_ you want to prove to you I’m still yours.”

“That’s a mighty big word, Buck,” Steve says slowly.

“ _Anything_ ,” he repeats just as strongly.

Catching his lower lip between his teeth, Steve’s considers his price. Bucky holds as still as his body allows, since it trembles as Steve’s arms slid down over his biceps, squeezing gently, as though testing how strong Bucky is now. The moment his eyes darken and harden at the same time, a moan leaves Bucky’s chest, his own hands tightening on Steve’s waist. He _remembers_ that look. Steve’s going to be _bossy_. 

Powerful hands continue to slide down his arms to his wrists. Holding loosely, Steve slowly moves around Bucky, twisting both arms up behind his back. Even without his metal arm, Bucky would have been able to break free if he wanted. He doesn’t, Steve just wants to make sure it’s all right to continue. Already breathing hard, because _yes it’s fucking all right_ , Bucky settles his weight into Steve’s grip, giving him more leverage. 

“You remember,” Steve chuckles low, the sound going straight through Bucky. 

“Yeah,” he gasps.

Leaning in, Steve’s lips brush Bucky’s ear as he prompts, “Yes, what?”

Bucky shudders, the arm recalibrating. The hold on his arms change. The metal one is pulled out straight to his side. He holds it where Steve put it, and shudders again as his fingers trace the intricate plating patterns.

“Yes, sir,” Bucky breathes. 

It does nothing for him, never did, but he knows what it does to Steve. The man is pressed immediately against his back, erection nestled against his ass. Both Steve’s hands tightened possessively as soon as it left his lips, and all because of a little word Bucky refused to say back during the War one too many times. They’d fought, like they did, then when he’d caved, Steve had fucked him stupid. He used the word a lot after that, but never outside the bedroom.

“You do remember,” Steve moans.

Before Bucky can mouth off, Steve turns his head and licks the joint of metal and flesh. A shout tears itself free of Bucky’s chest and his knees give way. Steve’s quick, the hand pinning back his arm snapping down and about his waist, holding him up.

“Buck?” Steve asks, sounding a little alarmed.

“No one’s,” Bucky gasps, “done that. Before.” He swings his around head to nuzzle into Steve’s throat, not bothering to get his feet underneath him. “More, sir.”

A strangled noise leaves Steve at the title. Effortlessly, he lifts Bucky and tosses him onto the bed. Bucky rolls to his back, watches greedily as Steve strips off the fake SSR t-shirt and crawls after him. Quick as can be, Steve has Bucky on his side, pressed along his back once more. One arm is tucked beneath Bucky, holding his back against Steve’s chest. The other pulls his metal arm straight again and then his mouth drops back to where Bucky wants it.

Shuddering again, as Steve’s tongue sends his nerves into overdrive, Bucky clutches at the coverlet. As he licks lower, Bucky unconsciously kicks out, his body reacting violently to the overstimulation. Steve doesn’t even hesitate, wrapping his powerful legs around Bucky’s, pinning them in place. The plates shift again and Steve groans, his mouth moving to trace the new patterns they’ve made. 

When Bucky whimpers, Steve pulls back in surprise.

“You can feel that?”

Bucky nods frantically, his hand lifting to cover the one Steve’s pressed to his chest. 

“More, sir,” he begs because he also remembers he can get whatever he wants with that little word.

Lips press back to the surprisingly warm metal, ghosting over his shoulder and along his tricep. Bucky shudders, gasping, head falling back against Steve’s shoulder. It feels so incredible and is made all the better by how much he can tell Steve’s enjoying himself.

“No one’s ever-” 

Bucky quickly puts a stop to Steve’s line of thought.

“ _Don’t_ \- Just don’t. Not now.”

The limbs wrapped around him tighten with Steve’s sudden anger. The one on his metal wrist would leave a brilliant bruise, even with the serum, if that were possible. 

Steve’s lips return to his ear as he growls darkly, “Gonna make you forget all of them. Forget you were ever someone else’s. Make you mine again, Buck.”

Another whimper leaves Bucky and he wants that, wants it so bad it hurts, but he has to say, “Always yours. Never _stopped_ being yours.”

“Gonna remind you, then,” Steve growls.

Twisting Bucky’s arm around his neck, Steve turns his lips and tongue to learning his forearm and bicep. He takes his time, drawing out what Bucky quickly learns is sweet torture. The metal is shockingly sensitive, the feel of Steve’s mouth making him whimper and moan and writhe as he explores the entirety of the addition to Bucky’s body. It’s the shoulder joint, they find, that’s the most sensitive. When Steve returns to it, Bucky jerks in his hold, but is soon a quivering, moaning, babbling mess. He’s not even sure what he’s saying, but thinks it’s supposed to be begging.

At some point, the hand against his chest lowers to tug off the old belt holding up his pants. Bucky can’t even think to help as Steve pops open the buttons on the old-fashioned fly and shoves his hand inside. Sobbing as Steve’s hand closes around his aching cock, Bucky thrashes, and the legs holding him tighten. 

“That’s it, sugar,” Steve purrs into his ear. “Let go.”

“ _Steve_ ,” Bucky sobs, “Gonna- Don’t stop!”

“Come for me,” Steve growls, voice dropping again. 

Another tug and Bucky obeys, shouting Steve’s name as he does. It’s so much, too much, having this again. Maybe he passes out, maybe it’s just dissociation, but when he comes back to himself, Steve has stripped him naked and gently cleaned away the mess. Steve is also naked and conspicuously soft considering Bucky can’t remember the guy joining him.

“Stevie?” he questions weakly. 

God, he’s tired. Four days without sleep and the best orgasm in seventy years will do that to a guy.

Smiling, Steve presses a kiss to his forehead and crawls on top of the covers to wrap Bucky in his arms. He pulls Bucky close, tucking his head into the hollow between Steve’s neck and shoulder that they discovered when they learned how to hold each other again after the serum. They still fit perfectly together and that fact makes Bucky’s body begin to tremble again.

“Stevie,” Bucky repeats brokenly and the man holds him even tighter. They’re not under the covers even still, but Bucky thinks he knows why.

“‘M here,” Steve murmurs into his hair.

Weakly, Bucky struggles to sit up, but Steve’s arms just tighten.

“You didn’t finish,” Bucky protests weakly. “Do ya not want me to-

Steve clears his throat and Bucky looks up to see an embarrassed flush creep over his cheeks.

“I did, Buck,” he admits. 

“But I didn’t-”

The blush deepens.

“Really like the arm, sugar,” Steve confesses roughly.

“I’ll have a new bed tomorrow,” Bucky says inanely.

Laughing, but looking utterly pleased, Steve pushes sweat-slick hair off Bucky’s face.

“Good.”

\----

Despite his exhaustion, Bucky can’t stay asleep more than a few hours. Because it’s early, Steve doesn’t fall asleep at all. He seems to sense he shouldn’t leave the bed, though, so every time Bucky starts awake, the arms around him tighten, lips brush his skin, and he’s able to drift away again. It’s only when he can see blue sky lightening through the skylight once more that he realizes Steve never goes to sleep.

“What’re you doin’?” Bucky asks, voice rough from his sleep. “Why aren’t y’sleepin’?”

Steve’s lips brush his forehead, his nose, then he settles his cheek atop Bucky’s head. 

“Couple days ago,” he says quietly, “I almost lost you on that train. You remember? When we got Zola?”

“That Nazi knocked me out the hole in the side of the car and you climbed down the side and grabbed me,” Bucky confirms.

“A second later and you’d have fallen,” Steve continues in that same, hushed tone. “I kept waking up all that night, sure you were gone, that I’d lost you. After the first time you woke,” he shrugs, “Wanted to make sure you knew I was still here.”

“You didn’t tell me,” Bucky says accusingly. “You didn’t wake me.”

“No point,” Steve shrugs, “You were always there when I woke up. I wanted- I haven’t been there for you and I wanted to make up for that.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Bucky snaps. “You saved the world. You did- Okay, I was pissed for a while, but I get it now. I’d’ve done the same thing.”

Ducking his head, Steve pulls Bucky’s chin up so he can plant a slow, lingering kiss on his lips. Sighing contently, Bucky melts into Steve’s arms and lets himself be kissed for as long as Steve wants. It’s not nearly long enough.

“There’s a couple hours ‘fore we have to go,” Bucky mutters, “Sleep, Stevie. You’ll be here when I wake.”

Steve smiles, slow and brilliant.

“Yeah, sugar. Not gonna leave you again.”

\----

When Bucky wakes again, Steve is asleep, arms and legs akimbo. It’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. 

Carefully climbing from the bed so not to wake his fella, Bucky goes downstairs and starts breakfast. As he cooks, he orders a new bed and bedding to be delivered that afternoon. It costs an arm and a leg to get them there the same day, but Steve’s worth it.

As the bacon is finishing frying, Steve comes down in a pair of Bucky’s sweats.

“Did you know you have a terrace that overlooks Central Park?” he asks conversationally.

“I did, actually,” Bucky teases. “How’d you end up out there?” 

“Looking for a bathroom,” Steve admits. “This place is _incredible_.”

“I was serious about the deed,” Bucky says as he pushes a plate in front of Steve, stacked high with enough food to satisfy a super soldier. 

“One thing at a time, Buck,” Steve says with amusement. 

Bucky’s not sure what’s funny, but it’s Steve so it’s probably stupid anyways.

“So what’s first, then?”

Looking up at Bucky without raising his head, Steve says too seriously, “S.H.I.E.L.D. You did a good job distracting me yesterday, but I think you gotta catch me up before we head in today.”

Because he has a point, Bucky takes a breath and nods.

“Where do I start?”

“Try the beginning.”

“That’s...Steve, that’s _fifty years_ of information.”

Steve coughs, takes a swig of orange juice and eyes Bucky.

“I thought you retired?”

“Only ten years ago, right after Peggy. Spent half a century before that with her fightin’ the good fight.”

“All right, well, so you don’t get along with Director Fury?”

“Nope,” Bucky says, popping the p.

“Yet, when you walked out of there, you’d signed back up. Why?”

“They were threatening-” Bucky stops, shakes his head. “Dunno what he was threatening, actually, but he pulled out that line about you being _property_.”

“And you broke something,” Steve surmises. Being property of the government never bothered Steve the way it bothers Bucky.

“ _Then_ I blackmailed him,” Bucky says flatly. “You’re being honorably discharged and _then_ they’re going to offer you a position at S.H.I.E.L.D. Dunno what game Fury is playing, but it’s got something t’do with _someone_ that was gonna use you as a personal chess piece. You wanna work for S.H.I.E.L.D., fine,” Bucky says, because he can feel Steve’s irritation, “but you’ll do it on _your_ terms, not theirs.”

That makes Steve pause, chewing thoughtfully. 

“And what about your terms?” he finally asks.

“Oh, I already know you’re gonna say yes,” Bucky says, rolling his eyes, “You’re stupid like that, so when he backed me into a corner, I agreed to sign back up.”

Watching him thoughtfully, Steve asks, “So why are you pissed off?”

Bucky shrugs.

“Don’t like Fury getting the better of me.”

Quietly, Steve digests this, before asking, “So what’s a computer?”


	3. Happily Ever After?

Like Bucky predicted, Steve agrees to take Fury’s offer to join S.H.I.E.L.D. He could have stopped him because he knows all the dirty little secrets they don’t tell Steve. He _doesn’t_ because Steve wouldn’t appreciate being manipulated and because Peggy envisioned S.H.I.E.L.D. as a place Steve would be proud to fight for. Taking that from her, whether she knows it or not, is too much to stomach.

They get a week together. A solid week with nothing but the two of them, making love, getting Steve used to the future, and dealing with the PTSD Bucky is surprised he didn’t expect Steve to have. He does, though. It’s subtle; the bed he buys is too soft and they spend most nights in the living room on the floor. Not once does Steve ask after the other Howlies, or Peggy, though Bucky finds S.H.I.E.L.D. files on them littering the desk in the bedroom. They don’t talk again about the seventy years that passed while Steve slept and Bucky had to make do without him. They’re going to have to, sooner rather than later, but Bucky just can’t bear to let the moments sour. Steve is _back_ , with him, and he’s never been more in love with his guy. The storm on the horizon keeps getting bigger, but Bucky is willing to tough it out for a little more sunshine.

Little does Bucky know, the storm is bigger than even he imagines.

The call comes in after midnight on his emergency line. The ring is distinct, so Bucky wakes from a dead sleep, startling Steve, and grabs the phone from the coffee table.

“‘M here,” Bucky says groggily into the line.

“I’m initiating Avengers Protocol, Barnes,” Fury’s voice says coolly. 

“Fury, _fuck_ , this is an emergency line,” Bucky groans. At his side, Steve forces himself awake, leaning on an elbow and watching Bucky intently. Knowing what he wants, Bucky rolls his eyes and scoots over so Steve can hear the other half of the conversation.

“This is Protocol Seven, Barnes,” Fury says and Bucky slumps suddenly enough that Steve looks alarmed.

“I’m not fucking taking him off the call,” he snaps. “I don’t give two shits about his security clearance.”

“You don’t have to. Captain America has been granted Level Seven access.”

Bucky sighs through his nose. There are ten levels of security clearance. Before he’d retired, Bucky had level nine. Since being reinstated, he hadn’t asked what they’d set him to, but that wasn’t really the point. The point was, if you weren’t at level ten, you were being lied to. Steve was not going to take that well when he figured it out.

“Go,” Bucky says tersely. 

“The Tesseract has been taken.”

“Hydra’s secret weapon?” Steve repeats, eyebrows drawing together in displeasure.

Bucky blows out a hard breath before answering.

“Howard fished it out of the ocean while he was looking for you,” he admits. “S.H.I.E.L.D.-”

Fury interrupts.

“He thought what we think, that the Tesseract could be a source of unlimited energy. That’s something the world sorely needs.”

It takes nearly biting his tongue in half to keep Bucky from arguing. Now isn’t the time.

“Who took it from you?” Steve asks.

“He’s called Loki. He’s…not from around here. There’s a lot we’ll have to bring you up to speed on, if Barnes hasn’t. The world has gotten even stranger than you already know.”

“At this point, I doubt anything would surprise me.”

Bucky officially has a headache and presses his fingers against his eyes.

“Ten bucks says you’re wrong,” Fury deadpans.

Tired of the conversation, he tells Fury, “E.T.A. thirty minutes. Where’s the pick up?”

“No, we need you to go get Tony. Bring him in. A car will pick up Captain Rogers. It will arrive in fifteen minutes.”

Not bothering with goodbye, Bucky hangs up the phone and pulls his arm over his eyes. Steve doesn’t make him wait long.

“You want t’tell me somethin’, Buck?”

“If you’re about to suggest I should have told you we found that fuckin’ thing, save your breath. There’s a helluva lot I haven’t told you yet and that’s at the bottom of the list.”

Being surprisingly gentle, Steve pulls Bucky’s arm from his face. Instead of angry, Steve just looks disappointed, which is far, far worse. 

“You have fifteen minutes to tell me what else you haven’t told me.”

Bucky swallows. That wasn’t anywhere _near_ the amount of time he would need to prepare Steve for dealing with S.H.I.E.L.D. alone.

Sitting up, Bucky captures Steve’s strong jaw in his hands.

“Darlin’, listen me,” he says urgently, “There ain’t enough time for that.”

Steve scowls, moves as if to pull away, so Bucky holds on tighter.

“No, Steve, there _isn’t_. So what I need you to do is not trust anything anyone tells you. You go in there and you assume they have agenda, you assume _I_ have an agenda. You aren’t ready for this, darlin’. It’s spy games, smoke and mirrors, and lies hiding lies twisting truth. I got out for a reason, because it was changing me in ways I didn’t even see. Now I’m back in and Fury’s makin’ sure I’m not there when they bring _you_ in. You hear me? The world _is_ different, and I need you to keep your eyes _open_.”

If there was one thing Steve wasn’t, it was a fool. He can feel Bucky’s urgency and doesn’t second-guess him. Covering Bucky’s hands, he doesn’t argue, either; doesn’t try to make Bucky tell him more, just nods.

“Okay, Buck, I hear you.”

Leaning in, Bucky kisses him _hard_.

“I love you,” he whispers against Steve’s lips. “I will _always_ love you.”

“But you might not be the man I fell in love with,” Steve says slowly; he had caught on to what Bucky wasn’t willing to voice.

“I hope I am,” Bucky answers quietly, “Got a bad feeling we’re about to find out, though. One way or the other.”

Steve kisses him then, just as hard. It isn’t a goodbye, but it isn’t anything else, either.

\----

After seeing Steve to the car and taking the laptop the agent had for him, Bucky hightails it to Stark Tower. It’s a monstrous thing, but sleek and tapered, and Bucky mostly likes it. The giant “STARK” on the outside, though, seems a bit much. 

In the elevator, Bucky has to override JARVIS - something he hates doing - to get into Tony’s penthouse. Apparently, his godson has a date with Pepper and doesn’t want to be disturbed. Too fuckin’ bad; he didn’t want to be, either. Certainly not for this.

The second the doors opened, Tony says, “Security breach,” but then freezes as he catches sight of what Bucky’s wearing. It’s certainly not street clothes. The black leather and kevlar suit, buckles and hidden places for his ammo, isn’t something he’s worn since going to find Tony. It still fits, though, and his weapons are in as perfect a condition as last he’d worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. 

Setting down his champagne glass harder than is strictly necessary, Tony surges to his feet.

“Did he make you do this?” Tony demands.

Standing as well, Pepper grabs Tony’s arm as if to hold him back.

“Bucky, it’s great to see you,” she says , coming around the couch to give him a hug. He returns it, but not her smile.

“Pepper, you look lovely.” He looks to his godson. “You know no one makes me do anything, Tony.”

“No,” Tony scoffs. “It’s just a complete coincidence you’re dressed as the Winter Soldier, holding a S.H.I.E.L.D. laptop, and forcing your way past JARVIS days after Captain America, national icon, is defrosted.”

“Boys,” Pepper says sharply. “Bucky, what’s going on?”

“We need Tony to look this over,” he says , holding up the laptop and knowing better than to try to hand it to his godson.

“We, meaning Fury,” Tony surmises. “Well, let him know consulting hours are eight to five every- other-Thursday.”

“It’s not a consultation.”

“Is this about the Avengers?” Pepper asks.

With a glance at his girlfriend, then Bucky, Tony takes the laptop from his hands. Seriously, he did not understand why he couldn’t just _give_ the thing over, but whatever floated Tony’s boat. The kid had always been weird and Bucky couldn’t see any reason he should upset him, now or any other time, by ignoring the quirks.

“The Avengers Initiative was scrapped,” Tony says speculatively. “I thought.”

“Just look,” Bucky insists, following Tony with Pepper to the computer station built into Tony’s desk. “It’s...not good.”

“How not good?”

“That’s what I know,” Bucky points at the laptop, “what I _don’t_ is what worries me.”

Pepper sighs.

“I’ll take the jet to D.C. tonight.”

“Tomorrow,” Tony argues.

“ _Tonight_. You have homework.”

Kissing him on the cheek, she heads for the elevator without further preamble. 

“So?” Tony presses, eyes darting between the files. “Did he make you join up again?”

“No,” Bucky sighs, “I made me.”

“But you hate it,” Tony says, whirling on him. “Explain this to me.”

“I can’t let Steve do this alone,” Bucky answers. 

“You let me do it alone,” Tony protests.

Bucky laughs.

“You remember, a long time ago, when you asked me if I thought you should be more like Captain America?”

“Of course I do,” Tony says flippantly, as if that conversation hadn’t meant the world to him.

“Mmhmm, then if you know so well, do I really need to answer your question?”

“Well,” Tony turns back to his screens, “if you don’t want to…”

“Best guy I ever knew- known, but he rushes in without thinking. You’re as stubborn as he is, assume you can do it all by yourself, but you’re not as reckless, not as foolhardy. Arrogant, don’t play well with others, but-”

“You flatterer,” Tony huffs.

Bucky smiles.

“If you needed me, I was there. Steve won’t ask for help.”

“So you make sure he doesn’t have to,” Tony says, mollified.

“Always said you were smart,” Bucky teases.

“Okay,” Tony nods. “Well, I got homework.”

“I’ll be watching T.V. when you’re ready to go in.”

“You don’t want to know what all these are?” Tony asks, surprised.

Bucky glances over at him and smiles.

“I’m sure you’ll fill me in.”

Hours later, JARVIS interrupts the marathon of Project Runway Bucky was halfway through.

“Sir, facial recognition has identified a man who appears to be the entity known as Loki.”

“Where?” Tony and Bucky ask together.

“Germany.”

“Bucky,” Tony starts, but he waves a hand as he gets to his feet.

“Go save the world, kid. I’ll catch my own ride to the party and, um,” Bucky runs a hand through his hair, “You see Steve, keep ‘im safe for me, all right?”

Tony’s eyes soften.

“Nothing is going to happen to him. I’ll make sure.”

Bucky grins, embarrassed, but proud.

“I trust you. Go.”

Saluting sharply, mockingly, Tony goes to suit up. With a sigh, Bucky leaves to see if he can find his own ride.

\----

Bucky gets to the Helicarrier in time for Loki’s plan to play off perfectly. What were supposed to be the Avengers, Earth’s mightiest defenders, are shouting at each other in one of the science labs. Banner and the Black Widow are arguing, so are Fury and Thor, but worst is Steve and Tony in each other’s faces. No one even looks his way as he skids to a halt and stares with his mouth hanging open.

“You know,” Steve is saying, inches from Tony’s face, “you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero.”

“Steve-” Bucky tries to interrupt. 

They ignore him.

“A hero, like you?” Tony shoots back. “You’re a laboratory experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle.” 

“Tony,” Bucky growls and his godson shoots him a wounded look.

Thor laughs.

“You people are so petty. And _tiny_.”

Bucky wants to kick his teeth in. Instead he stomps over to his guys, putting a hand on both Steve’s and Tony’s chests and pushing them away from each other.

“The hell is the matter with you two?” he demands. 

Tony opens his mouth first, so he stops him with a raised hand. “No, I _know_ what’s wrong with you.” Howard and his damned comparisons is what’s wrong with Tony. Fixing a hard look on Steve, he demands, “What I don’t know, is what the hell is wrong with _you_.”

This time it’s Steve that looks wounded, but before he can answer, Banner is shouting.

“In case you needed to kill me, but you can’t! I know, I tried!”

Every head in the room turns to stare, the tension in the room deflating like a popped balloon. Bucky drops his hands, not knowing what to say. No one seems to.

“I got low,” Banner explains, clearly agitated, “I didn’t see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth, and the other guy spit it out. So I moved on, I focused on helping other people. I was good until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk.”

Tensing, Bucky half-turns, his metal arm between Banner and Tony. Carefully, he edges his hand towards his sidearm and knows that he won’t be the only one doing so. 

“You wanna know my secret, Agent Romanoff?” Banner is practically shouting. “You wanna know how I stay calm?”

“Dr. Banner,” Steve says evenly, “put down the scepter.”

The expression on Banner’s face suggests he didn’t even realize he’d picked it up. Before he can say more, a computer beeps and he sets it down. Picking up his glasses, he walks towards the display.

“Sorry, kids,” he says dryly, “You don’t get to see my party trick after all.”

“Located the Tesseract?” Thor asks.

“I can get there faster,” Tony declares.

“Look,” Steve starts in his Captain’s voice, “all of us-”

“The Tesseract belongs on Asgard,” Thor interrupts, “No human is a match for it.”

“Tony,” Bucky says as his godson turns, intent on leaving and being the hero because Steve’s pushed all the right buttons.

Before he can say more, Steve grabs Tony’s arm.

“You’re not going alone!”

“You gonna stop me?” Tony demands as he jerks away.

Never one to back down from a fight, Steve hooks his thumbs into his belt. He’s anything but calm, though, pushing back into Tony’s face. Bucky can’t let him do this, not to Tony, who still hasn’t gotten over his father’s failures. Who has tried to live up to the image of Captain America that was held over his head for so long.

Getting between the man he loves and his godson again, Bucky puts his hand in the middle of Steve’s chest and shoves him back. Hard. Eyes wide, Steve clearly doesn’t expect the strength of the metal arm and stumbles back several steps.

“Back the fuck off,” Bucky growls.

Surprise coalesces into anger in Steve’s eyes and now he’s in _Bucky’s_ face.

“ _This_ is what for better or worse means to you?!” he shouts. “Shouldn’t be surprised, your idea of fidelity is so piss-poor!”

Bucky goes hot, too hot, and he knows he’s going to regret it, but he just can’t stop himself from shouting back, “I’m not the one who _chose_ to miss the goddamn wedding!”

It’s a blessing that the ship gets blown up a moment later. A few seconds more and Bucky and Steve would have been at blows. They needed the release, but at the rate they’d started, there was a good chance they would say something neither could come back from. So, instead of decking it out, Steve’s knocked into Bucky, who in turn falls into Tony. Alarms begin to blare and, for the moment, the fight is forgotten.

Steve and Tony run off to fix the engine and Bucky takes a step to follow when he hears the roar. 

Tapping his ear piece, Bucky says, “Widow, I thought you said you were fine.”

“Situation is fluid,” she pants back. 

There’s another roar, something crashes and possibly explodes. The helicarrier is robust, but nothing can stand up to the Hulk. If they don’t get him off the ship, it won’t matter if Tony can fix the engine. Bucky’s never quite gotten along with Natasha after they tried to kill each other several times during the 80s, but he’s not going to leave her to deal with this alone. Hell, he’s not sure he can even deal with it _with_ her.

“Fury,” the comms automatically patches him in to the director, “Hulk is loose, gonna need to get him off the ship.”

“Don’t do anything stupid, Barnes,” Fury cautions.

“Would I do that?” Bucky quips. “Widow,” the comm system moves him to the correct line again, “I’ve got a plan. Keep out of his way, keep me apprised of your location, and get him to a window.”

“Copy.”

It’s been awhile since he’s been on the ship, but Bucky finds the flight deck without too much trouble. In his ear, he hears everything Natasha is going through as she leaves her line open. She’s running, hiding, trying to escape a creature faster, stronger, and just plain bigger than she is. They both know she won’t last, but it’s not in her nature to give up.

Bucky’s running as fast as he can down to her when he hears the roar closing in, crashing getting closer and closer, and then she screams in pain.

“Natasha!” he shouts.

There’s nothing and then, voice shaking, she says, “Thor put him on the flight deck.”

Bucky curses; he was just _there_.

Turning around, he sprints back the way he came. Thankfully, he doesn’t need Natasha’s directions any more. The fight between the god and the Hulk echos through the entire ship. Bucky arrives in time to watch the Hulk smash through the flight deck with Thor on his back, up and into the lab they’d all been fighting in earlier.

“Tony,” Bucky gasps, winded from adrenaline more than exertion, as he runs for the hole the two indestructible beings have punched in the solid metal grating.

“Little busy right now,” Tony says once the comms put him on the line.

“Me, too. Getting Banner off the ship.”

“Where, exactly?” Tony asks.

“Uh,” beneath the hole, Bucky eyes the edges, and backs up to get a good running start, “Down.”

“Down?” Steve jumps in because he would be on the same line as Tony. “We’re thirty-thousand feet in the air!”

“Thirty-two, actually,” Bucky grunts, leaping and clearing the hole to slide across the debris scattering the lab floor. Thor has been tossed across the room, the Hulk advancing on him menacingly. The guy may be a god, but he’s taken a massive pummeling. “I know what I’m doing… Mostly.”

“What do you need?” Tony demands sharply.

“Fix the ship,” Bucky stresses, drawing his gun and shooting out the window behind Hulk. “And keep that promise you made me.”

“Bucky,” Steve starts, but Bucky - and Thor - don’t have time for goodbyes. Besides, Bucky doesn't plan on it being permanent. He aims his gun at the back of Banner’s head.

“Tony.”

“Yeah, Uncle Buck,” he says soberly. “Don’t worry.”

Bucky fires. The Hulk turns and roars at him. It’s so loud, he thinks it drowns out the sound of whatever Steve is trying to say. Not wasting any more time, Bucky turns and leaps out the window, twisting as he goes so he can continue firing at the giant green monster as he falls into the sky.

It works. With another roar, the Hulk scrambles after him and leaps to destroy the annoying gnat that’s knocked it in the head six times. 

“Fury,” Bucky twists in the air, makes his body as streamlined as possible, and tries to outrun the falling, flailing monster that probably isn't going to let him deploy his parachute. “Hulk is clear.”

“Copy, Soldier,” Fury says flatly.

Hulk’s roar is getting closer, but there’s literally nothing Bucky can do to make himself fall faster, move more to the side, than he’s already doing. Chancing a glance over his shoulder, he sees a massive fist reaching for his legs and, behind that, the helicarrier tipping precariously as another engine has stopped functioning. 

The giant fist tries to snatch him out of the air and Bucky rolls, spins, and dodges to the side. With yet another roar, the Hulk tries again and starts twisting, end over end as he loses control of his descent. For a moment, Bucky lets himself breathe easier and then a giant foot connects with the side of his head, leaving him twisting, tumbling, and disoriented. 

Another roar and Bucky rolls his eyes. Yes, he gets it, Hulk wants to kill him. That’s fair, he shot the guy in the head, but does he really have to scream like that all the time?

By the time he recovers, the ground is rushing up way too fast. The Hulk is nowhere in sight, not that he takes much time to look. Bucky yanks on the parachute cord, grunting as the wind catches the chute and jerks him upwards hard. With no time to pick a landing spot, he ends up in a brace of trees, crashing through branches that tear and batter him as he drops through them. The chute gets tangled and he’s hanging, legs dangling, when Maria’s voice bursts into his ear along with a string of static.

“Winter Soldier, what’s your status?”

Bucky carefully lifts his injured arm, tapping the comm unit so it will transfer his voice.

“Believe it or not, stuck in a tree.”

“The Hulk?”

“No joy. Lost visual on the way down.”

If he didn’t know her, he wouldn’t have heard the sigh of relief for what it was.

“‘M fine, Maria,” Bucky assures gently, “Tell Tony and Steve so they don’t have an aneurysm.” 

A heartbeat of silence passes and Maria says, “Coulson is down.”

“Phil?” Bucky’s heart squeezes. “How?”

“Loki,” she says shortly. “Thor is missing, Barton’s in custody.”

“Jesus,” Bucky closes his eyes, “What’s the game plan?”

“We don’t have one, Agent Barnes,” Fury’s voice cuts in. “It’s over. We lose.”

“Now, just wait a fuckin’ minute,” Bucky protests, but there’s no response. Fury’s put him on mute. 

Pulling a knife from his boot, Bucky curses the bastard in every language he knows. He’s still at it when he cuts himself down and starts hiking to the nearest road. No one’s listening and it’s been too long since he’s flexed his linguistic ability to insult someone so anyone on the planet can understand.

Bucky’s working his way through several Chinese dialects when he hears a very amused, “You have one hell of a mouth on you,” from his comm. He has never, ever been happier to hear the Widow’s voice.

“See, Cap, _that’s_ not English,” Tony teases.

“I would never have realized that,” Steve deadpans, “Buck, we know where he’s going.”

“Loki?” Bucky clarifies.

“Stark Tower,” Tony answers.

“Think you can get there?” Steve asks.

The sound of an engine catches his attention and he spies a road up ahead. 

“Uh,” he assess the truck headed his way and nods, though they can’t see it, “Yeah, I can do that.”

Steve groans.

“You’re going to steal something, aren’t you?”

Bucky laughs.

“Borrow, Stevie, remember? _Borrow_. I’ll give it back.”

\----

When he finally catches up to them outside Grand Central Station, the party, as Tony puts it, is in full swing.

“I’m gone one goddamn hour,” Bucky yells at Steve, rolling over a car hood and shooting an alien aiming at Clint’s back, “and you’ve fucking broken the fucking city.”

“Nice to see you, too,” Steve grins, “Mr. Rogers.”

Bucky turns scarlet.

“Who the hell told you?” he squeaks.

“Better question,” Tony chirps over the comm system, “is why didn’t _you?_ ”

“Shut up, Tony,” Bucky snaps. “You’re fucking grounded.”

When his godson laughs and Steve claps his shoulder, Bucky manages to lose some of the tension rippling through him. They’re all right, for now at least.

“Soldier,” Natasha greets him. “Thanks for the assist back there.”

“Anytime, Widow,” Bucky nods. “Clint, nice to see you’re, you know, _you_.”

“Good to be me,” he smiles, but it’s strained. 

They’re going to have to talk, later, when there aren’t aliens invading. For now, there’s avenging to be done.

\----

Later, while the others eat shawarma, after they’ve captured Loki and Bucky nearly loses his mind watching Tony sacrifice himself for New York - just like fucking Steve, _Christ_ \- Bucky calls his godchildren that live in the city. He paces, agitated until every single one answers their phone. At first, he decides it’s a miracle none of them is hurt. Then he realizes how stupid that it.

Taking the shawarma from Steve’s hand, he kisses him hard.

“Thank you,” he says sincerely. 

“What?” Steve blinks, surprised and confused, “For?”

Bucky is already moving on, yanking Tony to him for a hug and more heartfelt thanks.

“His family’s all right,” Clint answers Steve.

“Family?” Steve asks because they haven’t talked about it yet.

“Yeah,” Natasha grunts, but hugs him _hard_ when he gets to her. “The Barnes army of godchildren.”

“What are you up to?” Clint asks as he gets his own hug. “Fifty?”

“Thirty-eight,” Bucky answers, grinning, and surprising Banner when he gets a hug as well. “Thank you, Dr. Banner.”

“Thirty-eight godchildren?” Steve asks weakly.

“How many live in the City?” Bruce asks as Bucky turns, finding Thor already on his feet. 

Laughing, Bucky pulls Thor into a bone-crushing hug and is lifted into the air for his effort.

“About twenty,” he answers. “No one got hurt. Thanks to you all.”

Getting back to Steve, he kisses his best guy again. 

“Thank you,” he repeats.

“Guess we got a lot to talk about,” Steve murmurs against his lips.

“When you’re ready,” Bucky says. “It’s a lot to take in.”

“Which one was I?” Tony asks.

“Twentieth,” Bucky laughs, dropping into his seat. “Jeanette had already had her baby girl and Steven got that little redhead pregnant.”

“Steven?” Steve repeats, staring at him with big eyes.

“Yeah, darlin’, Dum Dum named his boy after you. Frenchie’s youngest son got the honor of being Grant.”

Clint leans forward, grinning because he’s a father and he understands Bucky better than anyone else there, Steve excluded, when it comes to his kids.

“Show him the pictures.”

“Oh, shit, right,” Bucky looks to Tony who hands him a Stark Phone and he quickly calls up his Shutterfly account. 

“Never did get around to it, but welcome to the family, Uncle Steve.”

“Uncle Steve?” Steve repeats, blushing hard.

Tony grins, unrepentant. 

“Well, see, when two people are married they inherit each other’s families. Being as he’s Uncle Bucky, you’re...”

“Uncle Steve,” Bruce chuckles.

Bucky’s blushing now, fidgeting with the phone though he’s got the site called up. Slowly, Steve takes the device from him and links their hands together. Natasha, bless her, says something to Clint, pulling him and Tony into a new conversation to take the attention of Bucky and Steve. Just as wise, Bruce does the same with Thor. They’re not the Howlies, Bucky thinks, but it’s a damn fine team Steve’s gotten himself.

“James Rogers, huh?” Steve prompts.

“It was Peggy’s idea,” Bucky confesses, embarrassed.

“But you kept it,” Steve insists. “Even after you let everyone know Bucky Barnes was alive, you _kept_ James Rogers.”

Bucky blushes harder, playing with Steve’s fingers and he’s not quite sure why he’s so embarrassed by this.

“How could I do anything else? It’s all I ever wanted.”

“Sap,” Steve accuses, nosing at his temple. It’s a pleasant surprise how easily Steve’s taken to public displays of affection now they don’t have to hide.

“ _Your_ sap,” Bucky replies. “I love you.”

Steve beams.

“I love you, too,” he says easily, like they didn’t scream the most hurtful things they could think of at each other hours ago, “and I can’t wait to get to know you again. How many people you think get to fall in love with their soulmate twice?”

“You can’t fall in love with someone you’re already in love with,” Bucky protests.

“Watch me,” Steve challenges. 

Bucky grins; his fella never backs down from a challenge.

**Author's Note:**

> There's now a sequal of sorts! Yes Sir is the story of Steve and Bucky fighting over whether Bucky should call Steve sir. Lots of smut, no plot. 
> 
>  
> 
> [Follow me on Tumblr ](http://cleo4u.tumblr.com/)


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